Vermin
by Kathy-SFF
Summary: (BSG 2003) The Cylon fleet has a serious vermin control problem


Ok, this idea came from a Friday night chat (you all know who you are). I expanded on the idea of Cylon vermin control originally seen in Lona's Dating Service (I will offer my apologies right now to Lona). I guess I should say all Battlestar Galactica stuff is the property of Glen Larson and Ron Moore etc. The vermin are my very own creation (sorta). No intelligent life has been harmed in the making of this story. So without further ado and great trepidation I present, Vermin, a horror/humor story. Please read at your own risk.  
  
Vermin by Kathy "Doc"  
  
"We have not been able to locate the position of all remaining survivors, however, it is only a matter of time" said Number 7 to his Leader.  
  
The Leader of the Cylon Fleet responded, "Many before you have said the same thing yet this race seems to be particularly adept at avoiding all our attempts to eradicate them".  
  
Number 8 (her designation among the human look-a-like Cylons) responded, "Yes, they have proved most inventive and adapt very rapidly to all our counter-measures. Nothing so far has proven effective against them. They are a most formidable enemy."  
  
"They are vermin not an enemy!" the Leader stated. Suddenly alarms sounded overhead.  
  
"That is the fifth time today! Bridge, what is the problem? Are there intruders near-by?" questioned the Leader. A metallic voice responded, "By your command. There are no ships on radar. It is another computer malfunction Leader."  
  
The Leader wondered if this was what humans called frustration. The Cylons had planned and executed the complete destruction of their creators (except for a few pathetic humans that would soon be found). However, no Cylon scenario had predicted that while ensuring all human survivors were destroyed, an unimportant small detail mission to a candy factory would have resulted in the devastating infection that now raged through the Cylon fleet and their chosen home world. The Cylons had set traps, used sophicated viruses specifically designed to their target, and tried poison, all without effect.  
  
They had even gone so far as to search out the few remaining spidercats in their attempts to rid themselves of these invaders. That had resulted in complete disaster when the vermin had somehow managed to form an alliance with the spidercats. Now both vermin and spidercats ran rampant through the Cylon fleet.  
  
Suddenly in the far corner of the room, there was a soft peeping sound. The leader could now see a group of twenty entities. Their soft bodies were shaped like chicks (an infant domestic fowl raised as a food source by humans), about 4 centimeters in height and brightly colored (yellow, pink, blue and one purple). Their small black eyes were merciless and without fear. The cylon guards began firing but the vermin were too fast. From the ventilation shafts, swarms of both vermin and spidercats attacked the guards. The scent of toasted marshmallow, burnt fur and fried electrical wiring filled the air. The vermin had found their way into the very command center of his basestar.  
  
When the smoke finally cleared, the Leader was the only cylon functioning. Surrounding the Leader were hundreds of brightly colored marshmallow "chicks", and all colors of spidercats. A purple chick and a black spidercat advanced on the Leader. The purple chick began speaking "We are the leaders of the Peep – Spidercat alliance. Your ships and planets are now in our hands. All your technology is being assimilated. We are currently in the process of reprogramming your subroutines so that your species will rebuild the PEEP candy company complex and work efficiently in the peep hatchery." The black spidercat then spoke through a small device that hung from her flea collar. "The Cylon race will also be reprogrammed in the correct procurement and processing of fish, meat, dairy products, and catnip. The kitty litter and scratching post factories that your bombs destroyed will also be rebuilt."  
  
Before the Leader felt his conscious mind recede, he heard his voice saying "By your command."  
  
Peeps are those brightly colored sugar coated marshmallow candies in the shape of chicks or bunnies that appear around Easter (spring). 


End file.
